Love is hard. Relationships are hard. Love and relationships can hurt a lot, but we keep trying to make it work because love and relationships are what makes us feel alive. We were born to love. So why do we often get lost in love and relationships? It’s probably because somewhere along the path of our relationship, we have forgotten to maintain our love map.
A love map is like having a gps of your partner’s heart. Having a love map of your partner keeps you on the same path and connected to each other’s lives, interests, feelings, and dreams for the future. So without this, you are likely to feel like strangers even if you’ve been with each other for many years. Even if you invested time in connecting this way with your partner at the start of your relationship, you can become disconnected if you don’t update your map. It’s like when you get those update reminders on your phone or tablet about updating your system or certain apps. Of course the app runs fine without the update, but the update fixes certain bugs or has changes that make the app work better. Updating the love map of your partner’s heart is important because people change with time and knowing these changes makes you more attuned to your partner. The great thing is that you can update your love map just by asking your partner some simple questions. And of course, paying attention to your partner’s answers is the key.
Here are some questions that can get you started: What is going on at work that you would like me to know about? What is something you’ve been wanting to do, but have not gotten to? How have you been feeling lately? What would be your dream job? What is causing you stress right now?
Of course the more you ask, the more you know. So shoot for the moon and ask as many questions as you’d like from your partner within the parameters of these four topics (daily grind, current interests, feelings, hopes/dreams). Just remember that building your love map is not about grilling your partner about your suspicions of their behavior. That’s a totally different conversation, which hopefully with your updated love map will lead you away from suspicions and back to your partner’s heart.
A love map is like having a gps of your partner’s heart. Having a love map of your partner keeps you on the same path and connected to each other’s lives, interests, feelings, and dreams for the future. So without this, you are likely to feel like strangers even if you’ve been with each other for many years. Even if you invested time in connecting this way with your partner at the start of your relationship, you can become disconnected if you don’t update your map. It’s like when you get those update reminders on your phone or tablet about updating your system or certain apps. Of course the app runs fine without the update, but the update fixes certain bugs or has changes that make the app work better. Updating the love map of your partner’s heart is important because people change with time and knowing these changes makes you more attuned to your partner. The great thing is that you can update your love map just by asking your partner some simple questions. And of course, paying attention to your partner’s answers is the key.
Here are some questions that can get you started: What is going on at work that you would like me to know about? What is something you’ve been wanting to do, but have not gotten to? How have you been feeling lately? What would be your dream job? What is causing you stress right now?
Of course the more you ask, the more you know. So shoot for the moon and ask as many questions as you’d like from your partner within the parameters of these four topics (daily grind, current interests, feelings, hopes/dreams). Just remember that building your love map is not about grilling your partner about your suspicions of their behavior. That’s a totally different conversation, which hopefully with your updated love map will lead you away from suspicions and back to your partner’s heart.
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