For anyone in a relationship, whether married or not, do you ever feel like you do WAY more in the relationship than your partner? Whether it be house chores, paying the bills, or giving up what you want to let them have their way. We've all experienced that feeling that our relationship is not equal. So the best solution would be to make the relationship equal in all ways right? Simple solution. Split everything 50/50. 
           Well, I am here to tell you that this may not work out like it seems. Relationships are an art form, not a science. You cannot measure a relationship in terms of numbers, therefore you cannot divide a relationship 50/50. The five chores you do will never equal the five chores that your partner does, because chores in themselves have their own value. It's not simply a numerical problem. 
           So what the heck is the solution? I would venture to say do not focus on the "equality" part of the relationship. The truth is your relationship will continue to feel unbalanced if you keep aiming for 50/50. Your relationship will likely fluctuate throughout the days, months, and years. There will be times when you have to put in 75% of the work, and times when you will do less. The key is to remember those times when you do less and your partner does more- yes, it's bound to happen. During times when you are putting in more, be willing to put in more and remember that you are putting in more for both of you. For those of you who understand math and numbers better, think of your relationship as an investment. Whether you put in more money now or later, same for your partner, you both will enjoy the profit when the investment matures. Do your part in the relationship for the purpose of loving your partner and stop keeping tabs of how many times more you have done something for them. 

           From celebrity couples and Hollywood movies to your neighbors, cheating is often an issue that many people have experienced no matter their background. This is an age old issue. In today's post, I want to focus specifically on two types of cheating: physical and emotional infidelity. Physical infidelity is, simply put, having sexual relations with someone other than your partner. Emotional infidelity is the forming of a deep emotional bond with someone other than your partner. Many psychological studies have found that men are often more upset about sexual infidelity and conversely, women are often more upset about emotional infidelity. With this in mind, I want to focus on the impact of infidelity on the relationship. Of course, the impact of each can be different for every person and every relationship. Physical infidelity surely contributes to feelings of mistrust and betrayal in the relationship. Emotional infidelity can contribute to emotional distance in a relationship. I cannot say that one is worse than the other for a relationship, because at the end of the day, cheating is cheating. 
            However, the point I would emphasize here is that both these types of cheating can contribute to dissolution of the marital partnership. The marital partnership is the foundation of the marriage and it exists only between the two people who joined together. Infidelity does not necessarily mean there is no more love in the relationship. Infidelity does not always mean divorce is imminent. Often it signals the presence of other problems, which are too difficult to communicate.  More often than not, the cheating behavior is about the "cheater" rather than the "cheated". For example, if you are unable to openly express your sexual fantasies to your partner and you decide to cheat sexually--- yes, cheating is a decision, then this is a reflection of your inability to express your needs. Along the same lines, if you find yourself "falling in love" with a third party, this is a reflection of your inability to emotionally connect with your partner. 
            Cheating is not the problem; it's actually the solution people engage in to resolve whatever problem they are having. I do not say this to negate the impact or significance of cheating, but I do want to emphasize that addressing the underlying problems behind the cheating behavior, is the only long term solution to it. 

Welcome everyone. Here are some thoughts about the purpose of my blog: to share information about counseling, healthy relationships, and as I like to call it- emotional well being. I prefer this term to the more popular "mental health wellness". The word "mental" just seems to be overly associated with something negative. I also hope to provoke discussion about common day stress, struggles, stereotypes, and issues that are happening in our world today. Lastly, I hope to bring joy and a bit of curiosity to my readers. I am so happy that you are here reading this and I look forward to many more entries and discussions.