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Why am I doing all the work?

4/28/2014

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           For anyone in a relationship, whether married or not, do you ever feel like you do WAY more in the relationship than your partner? Whether it be house chores, paying the bills, or giving up what you want to let them have their way. We've all experienced that feeling that our relationship is not equal. So the best solution would be to make the relationship equal in all ways right? Simple solution. Split everything 50/50. 
           Well, I am here to tell you that this may not work out like it seems. Relationships are an art form, not a science. You cannot measure a relationship in terms of numbers, therefore you cannot divide a relationship 50/50. The five chores you do will never equal the five chores that your partner does, because chores in themselves have their own value. It's not simply a numerical problem. 
           So what the heck is the solution? I would venture to say do not focus on the "equality" part of the relationship. The truth is your relationship will continue to feel unbalanced if you keep aiming for 50/50. Your relationship will likely fluctuate throughout the days, months, and years. There will be times when you have to put in 75% of the work, and times when you will do less. The key is to remember those times when you do less and your partner does more- yes, it's bound to happen. During times when you are putting in more, be willing to put in more and remember that you are putting in more for both of you. For those of you who understand math and numbers better, think of your relationship as an investment. Whether you put in more money now or later, same for your partner, you both will enjoy the profit when the investment matures. Do your part in the relationship for the purpose of loving your partner and stop keeping tabs of how many times more you have done something for them. 
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