If at times your partner has been distant, withdrawn, cold, irritable, or moody then it has probably been more difficult to communicate with him/her. It's also likely that when you have tried to engage in conversation, he/she has either showed little to no interest or he/she shot you down with negativity or sarcasm. All of this can lead you wondering "what the heck is wrong" and feel less inclined to talk in your relationship. This appears to be a communication problem, so naturally the solution you may seek is to fix your communication. However, what underlies this communication difficulty may actually be something more complicated. It can be very possible that your partner is depressed, and that the depression is contributing to poor communication.
             Depression can make communication more difficult because depression tends to make people more sensitive to criticism and more likely to interpret neutral comments negatively. Depression can also contribute to an increase in topic avoidance. This means that your partner will likely divert the communication by changing the subject or making excuses to talk about it later (but they never bring it up again). Your partner's depression also contributes to their feelings of isolation and eventually leaves you feeling isolated as well.  In all of this, the important thing to remember is that neither of you are to blame for these circumstances. 
            Understanding that depression may be the culprit for the communication problems in your relationship will help you to help your partner get through their depression. It also helps you let go of self-blame or anger towards your partner about the communication problems, and allows you to really deal with the source of the problem. Keep in mind that if your partner is depressed, then their ability to effectively communication becomes impaired. They are not purposely communicating poorly, but rather their poor communication is a reflection of their internal emotional distress. Hopefully this understanding will allow the both of you to find a solution that will treat the true cause of the communication problem and give you something positive to talk about.

              That awkward moment when you're learning about sex in school from an old outdated video. Many of us have had this experience and it didn't help to prepare us to talk about this topic in any future situations. Although there is so much more sexual content/suggestions on television and magazines these days compared to 20 years ago, this has not made it any easier to actually talk about sex. It's still very much something you do rather than talk about. So you may not be surprised to hear that 49% of  adults report they have trouble talking to their spouse about sex and only 38% report they feel satisfied with their sex life. Pretty dull numbers right? So here I am to the rescue, guaranteed to make your sex life 100% better. No, I'm really not going to do that but I will give you one very important tip to help you talk about sex with your partner. Ready, here it is: get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 
              What do I mean by this? Simply put, sex talk is going to be uncomfortable for different reasons, but if you can get through it, then you've made the next conversation about it available. Talking about sex will feel uncomfortable for a variety of reasons and differ for each individual. Your comfort level may also differ depending on what you're talking about. Maybe you get to the point where you feel comfortable talking about your fantasies, but get really uncomfortable when your partner brings up theirs. If you allow yourself to settle only in being comfortable and avoid talking when it feels uncomfortable, then you close yourself up to many possibilities. 
             Another point to remember is that talking about sex does have pre-requisites. If you are having communication problems in other areas, you should focus on improving your dialogue there before talking about sex. A subject as intimate as sex may be too sensitive or risky to discuss if communication is a problem. If you don't know what you want for your sex life to improve, then don't bring it up yet. Whether it's to share sexual fantasies or share what feels good sexually to you, get this in order first. Your partner will understand your sexual needs better if you already know what they are. If you feel guilty about giving your partner feedback, then don't talk about sex until you can get rid of that guilt. The reality is that sex is partly about pleasing your partner and partly about pleasing yourself. And you should not feel guilty for the latter. If you're not enjoying the party, both you and your partner are missing out on half of the fun. 
           Last but not least, the best way to make anything awkward into something less awkward is humor. If you can find a way to laugh or take things lightheartedly when you talk about sex, the conversation also becomes less uncomfortable. But I make no promises or guarantees about this topic. This is a big communication mountain to conquer, so you do it at your own risk. When you do, you will also find that you reap all of the benefits. 

                Every relationship needs communication. Most relationships will have communication problems, not due to a lack of communicating, but rather for the lack of openness and honesty that communication requires. We usually enter a relationship with an open mind as we learn and explore more about our partner. But slowly we settle into the relationship and our values and beliefs also settle into the relationship. It wouldn't be a problem if our partner believed and agreed exactly with us all the time, but this occurrence is often far and in between. Slowly the openness we once had in the relationship closes up and we start to expect certain things from our partner and the relationship. So how does this impact communication? Let's take a look.
               WE DEMAND TO BE RIGHT. A common argument couples have right? Sometimes it becomes so silly as to who remembered what, that the bigger issue is forgotten. It becomes a battle of 'who said or did what' and this will clearly end up nowhere good. When we argue about who is right or wrong, the only thing it communicates is that we want to feel in control. Unfortunately, women get more of this blame, but this doesn't make men innocent either. 
              WE EXPECT A CERTAIN ANSWER. Couples who have been together for a long time often believe they can "predict" their partner's response. This isn't far-fetched, but it gives us a false sense of omniscience. This belief makes us less open to what our partner says because our mind will hear what we want to hear. This can make us irritated when we don't hear what we expect or when our partner gives us the same damn response all the time (ie. "it's up to you"). 
              WE ARE CLOSED TO NEW IDEAS. All roads lead to this. When we argue to be right or believe we know what our partner will say before they say it, we close up our willingness to hear anything new. So even if we were to hear something new from our partner, we won't even recognize it, believe it, or hear it. We stick to our ideas and beliefs, and become more restricted in our communication. This is where communication gets stuck.
             To get unstuck, we must remind ourselves that communication is about being open to our partner's influence and being able to handle the message. It will only flow back and forth easily when we can do this. When we are closed to our partner's influence we might hear our partner say something like: "what's the point, you've already made up your mind", and we may find our partner talking less or appearing disinterested when we "need to talk". When we are unable to handle the message, we might hear our partner say something like: "I don't want you to over-react", and we may find ourselves hurt or defensive. Possibly leading into a new argument that justifies what our partner just said. 
             Communication is simple and complex all at the same time. The hopeful thing is that we are always communicating, even when we are not speaking. So communication is not the problem we face in relationships. The problem we face is how we can change ourselves to be more open and ready to hear the truth. When we can be more open and handle our partner's response appropriately, then communication becomes easy.

           Arguing is a normal part of being in a relationship. However, how you argue can deeply affect your partner and your relationship. The way you argue in your relationship can either enhance or destroy your relationship. Although there isn't an equation for what is the "right" way to argue, there are certain behaviors that you may want to avoid engaging in during an argument with your partner. Watching out for the following behaviors may help you to fight more fairly and of course, get you what you want. 

1. Name Calling.
If you heard someone calling your son/daughter or close friend a name, how would you react? Most likely, it would not sit very well with you and most likely your son/daughter or close friend would feel hurt by the name calling. Needless to say, it's an unhealthy way of expressing yourself towards your partner during an argument. What is considered "name calling" can mean something different to everyone, but for clarity sake, anything that your partner feels is insulting should be considered "name calling". Even if it is a cute pet name, used in a teasing manner during an argument can have a negative impact on the relationship. For those who have name called during a heated argument, it is your responsibility to keep awareness of yourself during a heated exchange in order to stop before the name calling starts.

2. Using Hostile Humor, Sarcasm, or Mockery
These are all equally detrimental to your relationship. It belittles your partner and sends the message of your superiority. If you've ever encountered a boss or co-worker who engaged in any of these behaviors, most likely you did not like their condescending tone. That is exactly why using hostile humor, sarcasm, or mockery is so dangerous to your relationship. It condescends your partner and disrespects them as your equal. 

3. Using Negative Body Language
This includes sneering, rolling your eyes, hitting, or curling your lip at your partner. Again these behaviors convey disrespect and disgust towards your partner. Engaging in any of these behaviors make it more difficult to resolve your conflict because your partner will likely be defending him/herself rather than compromising. 

          It is unfair to use your partner as an emotional punching bag, which is what happens when you engage in any of the behaviors above. Engaging in any of these behaviors can have a negative impact on your relationship, but engaging in all three of these behaviors is an indicator that there is a more serious issue between you and your partner. While it's unrealistic that you argue perfectly without being sarcastic or name calling, it's very important that you catch yourself when you do this. In order to prevent it from becoming a lasting pattern and turning into contempt, you need to take responsibility for these behaviors and work on its remedy: showing fondness/admiration towards your partner.