Let’s continue the conversation about the changing landscape of marriage and talk about infidelity or cheating. Once upon a time 50 years ago, infidelity was a norm in marriages because most people married for duty rather than for love. Back then infidelity was also very clear cut to define and it usually included a sexual interaction. However, if you ask your partner what constitutes cheating in their eyes today, the answer is probably not going to be as clear cut. With more ways to cheat now than ever and fewer places in which to hide, this is the changing landscape of marriage in 2018.
Social media and technology have changed the way people can access information and interact with each other. When your marriage can be broadcasted to the world via social media, and cheating is literally at your fingertips on an app in your phone, where do you draw the line between cheating and being friendly? Is liking sexy pictures on Instagram cheating? What if you casually message an old lover or friend on Facebook? What if you accept a friend request from a co-worker who has a crush on you? What about having an open marriage? Is cheating still just about the act (sex) or do unfaithful motivations also constitute cheating?
At the core of infidelity are three things. First is secrecy. Infidelity is usually organized around a secret you must keep from your partner. Secondly is sexual energy. Infidelity doesn’t have to result in or include sexual contact, but it usually is fueled by sexual energy or sexual chemistry. Lastly is emotional involvement. This simply means that you have invested time or otherwise created something that has meaning to you.
There are so many situations that fall into the gray zone these days. More importantly is the fact that every act is defined differently between different couples and every couple has their own tolerance for certain behaviors in the relationship. I won’t tell you what to accept or not in your relationship, but when you are feeling conflicted about whether or not you or your partner is cheating, do consider the three things listed above as guidelines for looking at infidelity.
Social media and technology have changed the way people can access information and interact with each other. When your marriage can be broadcasted to the world via social media, and cheating is literally at your fingertips on an app in your phone, where do you draw the line between cheating and being friendly? Is liking sexy pictures on Instagram cheating? What if you casually message an old lover or friend on Facebook? What if you accept a friend request from a co-worker who has a crush on you? What about having an open marriage? Is cheating still just about the act (sex) or do unfaithful motivations also constitute cheating?
At the core of infidelity are three things. First is secrecy. Infidelity is usually organized around a secret you must keep from your partner. Secondly is sexual energy. Infidelity doesn’t have to result in or include sexual contact, but it usually is fueled by sexual energy or sexual chemistry. Lastly is emotional involvement. This simply means that you have invested time or otherwise created something that has meaning to you.
There are so many situations that fall into the gray zone these days. More importantly is the fact that every act is defined differently between different couples and every couple has their own tolerance for certain behaviors in the relationship. I won’t tell you what to accept or not in your relationship, but when you are feeling conflicted about whether or not you or your partner is cheating, do consider the three things listed above as guidelines for looking at infidelity.
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