A strong marriage is like a house. It's built on a solid foundation with hopes and dreams. And along with hard work, sweat, frustration, times of wanting to give up, and perseverance, the house will weather whatever storm nature has to offer. But of course, every house also needs daily care and occasional touching up. Strong houses which do not receive daily TLC, eventually may start having cracks and crumbles that makes it vulnerable to the environment. The following list will highlight 5 things you can do daily to keep your marriage strong.
1) Validate your partner. Whether your partner is having a bad day or excited about a football game, it's an opportunity for you to validate. Validation serves to show your partner that you see their situation and you acknowledge their experience of it. It translates to "I understand you" and strengthens your bond with each other. I've seen too many times when couples jump to rescue their partner by giving them a solution or they jump to criticize. These are unhelpful responses and they're equivalent to hitting your house with a hammer. Here are some examples of validation: if your partner is having a bad day, say You really had a tough day, work really sucked for you today, etc. If your partner is excited about a job promotion, say You're really proud of yourself.
2) Say "yes" to a request they ask of you. Admit it, you say "no" way more than you say "yes" when your partner asks something of you. Don't beat yourself up for doing this, because you have good reasons to say "no". However, saying "no" is like putting off cleaning the spiderwebs outside your house. After awhile, it builds up and you find yourself caught in an invisible and sticky web. Don't let that happen. Even if you're extremely tired, say "yes" when you partner asks you to give him/her something to drink.
3) Touch your partner. Never underestimate the power of touch. We rely on our sight, but seeing is deceiving. Ever walk into a glass door? Well if you used your sense of touch, you would have known it was there instead of finding out after your head banged into it. True story! So touch, whether it's a kiss, holding hands, hugging, or playing footsies. This can be so much more intimate than sex.
4) Share a meal together. Children and work can make it difficult to eat meals together, but should not be an excuse. You should find time to share at least one meal together. Dinner on weekdays, maybe lunch or breakfast together on weekends. Whatever your schedule, the important thing is finding the time to share a meal. Breaking bread has been a bonding experience for centuries, and that's reason enough to make time for this in our relationships.
5) Laugh out loud. Believe it or not, but marriages that outlast others are ones where couples can laugh about their problems. The more serious you feel about an issue, the more power the issue has over your relationship and the harder it is to overcome. I'm not saying make a joke of every issue, but sometimes you need to sit back and ask yourself if things are really that serious. So even if you don't laugh about your problems because they are all serious issues, then laugh about other things. Just laugh with your partner and let the endorphins do the rest.
1) Validate your partner. Whether your partner is having a bad day or excited about a football game, it's an opportunity for you to validate. Validation serves to show your partner that you see their situation and you acknowledge their experience of it. It translates to "I understand you" and strengthens your bond with each other. I've seen too many times when couples jump to rescue their partner by giving them a solution or they jump to criticize. These are unhelpful responses and they're equivalent to hitting your house with a hammer. Here are some examples of validation: if your partner is having a bad day, say You really had a tough day, work really sucked for you today, etc. If your partner is excited about a job promotion, say You're really proud of yourself.
2) Say "yes" to a request they ask of you. Admit it, you say "no" way more than you say "yes" when your partner asks something of you. Don't beat yourself up for doing this, because you have good reasons to say "no". However, saying "no" is like putting off cleaning the spiderwebs outside your house. After awhile, it builds up and you find yourself caught in an invisible and sticky web. Don't let that happen. Even if you're extremely tired, say "yes" when you partner asks you to give him/her something to drink.
3) Touch your partner. Never underestimate the power of touch. We rely on our sight, but seeing is deceiving. Ever walk into a glass door? Well if you used your sense of touch, you would have known it was there instead of finding out after your head banged into it. True story! So touch, whether it's a kiss, holding hands, hugging, or playing footsies. This can be so much more intimate than sex.
4) Share a meal together. Children and work can make it difficult to eat meals together, but should not be an excuse. You should find time to share at least one meal together. Dinner on weekdays, maybe lunch or breakfast together on weekends. Whatever your schedule, the important thing is finding the time to share a meal. Breaking bread has been a bonding experience for centuries, and that's reason enough to make time for this in our relationships.
5) Laugh out loud. Believe it or not, but marriages that outlast others are ones where couples can laugh about their problems. The more serious you feel about an issue, the more power the issue has over your relationship and the harder it is to overcome. I'm not saying make a joke of every issue, but sometimes you need to sit back and ask yourself if things are really that serious. So even if you don't laugh about your problems because they are all serious issues, then laugh about other things. Just laugh with your partner and let the endorphins do the rest.
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