If you've ever been in a relationship where your partner clung onto you, missed you excessively, called you two minutes before you arrive to check if you're alright, and in other words, was "needy"- then continue reading. If you've been in this kind of relationship and felt annoyed by this, then there is actually something wrong with you; not the other way around. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, there is nothing unnatural about being needy. It's actually more unnatural to be not needy.
As I shared in the previous entry about the human drive to connect, being needy is also a natural part of being human. Say what??? In our American society today, we value independence right? And many times, this contributes to the belief that being "too needy" is bad or wrong. We try to strive to need only ourselves and no one else. But seriously, how many people do you really know who do not need anyone? Social media would not be what it is without our internal need to be needed and need others. What do you think is the point of selfies? It feeds into our need to be admired, loved, and receive attention from others. So even when we try to get rid of this "neediness" by being independent, self-sufficient, and critical of those who are "needy", we eventually fall short at the end of the day. Our biological wiring to need others eventually win over. Our independent mindset actually can contribute to how depressed, anxious, addicted to things, or over medicated we are. If we actually listened to our need to connect with people and allow ourselves to connect as it unfolds, we might actually attain world peace. Umm no, not reallly. But...... we might actually feel good today and expect a better tomorrow.
Just to clarify, there are some people who are way too "needy" or controlling in a relationship and it does drive the relationship to the ground. But that is another issue for another blog post.
As I shared in the previous entry about the human drive to connect, being needy is also a natural part of being human. Say what??? In our American society today, we value independence right? And many times, this contributes to the belief that being "too needy" is bad or wrong. We try to strive to need only ourselves and no one else. But seriously, how many people do you really know who do not need anyone? Social media would not be what it is without our internal need to be needed and need others. What do you think is the point of selfies? It feeds into our need to be admired, loved, and receive attention from others. So even when we try to get rid of this "neediness" by being independent, self-sufficient, and critical of those who are "needy", we eventually fall short at the end of the day. Our biological wiring to need others eventually win over. Our independent mindset actually can contribute to how depressed, anxious, addicted to things, or over medicated we are. If we actually listened to our need to connect with people and allow ourselves to connect as it unfolds, we might actually attain world peace. Umm no, not reallly. But...... we might actually feel good today and expect a better tomorrow.
Just to clarify, there are some people who are way too "needy" or controlling in a relationship and it does drive the relationship to the ground. But that is another issue for another blog post.
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