Relationships are usually fun in the beginning. Getting to know each other, sharing new experiences, and first kisses are all things that create excitement and pleasure in a relationship. And many times the fun decreases as relationships progress into marriage, parenthood, work, etc. The more commitments or responsibilities put on a relationship impact how much time there is left for playfulness. Sometimes fun is put on the back burner as you take yourself more seriously in a relationship. This may seem like the perfect thing to do since it means the relationship is maturing and you are maturing. Unfortunately, making less time for fun is a mistake for your relationship.
Having fun with your partner, whether it's spending a day at the park riding your bikes, shopping, or building a bird house together, is one of the healthiest things you can do for your relationship. Having fun is not about spending money, traveling, or doing anything new or specific. Having fun with your partner is about spending time doing something together that you get so wrapped up in, you don't want to stop and you lose track of time. It's actually quite simple. And at the same time, you can make it complicated by putting your expectations or demands on this time. You might expect to have a great conversation with your partner or demand your partner to do everything as you like it. These expectations and demands zap the fun out of any activity or time spent together, and they make future activities appear discouraging. Sometimes the best moments with your partner is when you both can be totally silly, irrelevant, and ridiculous. Which is ok because it's all done in playfulness.
Another way to help increase the fun in your relationship is to be playful. Don't take yourself so seriously. When you take yourself too seriously in your relationship you start to have unrealistic expectations for yourself and your partner (ie. he should know how I feel or she should do what I say without question). Which usually contributes to feelings of inadequacy or superiority. Going down this road is the opposite of fun and can make you feel miserable. Having fun with your partner is just as important as being a fun person to be around. You don't need to be the life of the party, but you shouldn't be the rain in everyone's parade either. Would you really want to spend time doing something fun with someone who complained or worried all the time? If you answered no, then also take a moment to look at how your partner might feel if you were doing those things (complaining, worrying, etc). Would you want to spend time with you?
If it's not easy for you or your partner to be playful or silly with each other, then that's ok. Maybe that's just not in your personality or the kind of relationship you have. But you can still be a fun person by participating, smiling, asking questions, or just cheering your partner on. So, how much fun are you to be around in your relationship?
Having fun with your partner, whether it's spending a day at the park riding your bikes, shopping, or building a bird house together, is one of the healthiest things you can do for your relationship. Having fun is not about spending money, traveling, or doing anything new or specific. Having fun with your partner is about spending time doing something together that you get so wrapped up in, you don't want to stop and you lose track of time. It's actually quite simple. And at the same time, you can make it complicated by putting your expectations or demands on this time. You might expect to have a great conversation with your partner or demand your partner to do everything as you like it. These expectations and demands zap the fun out of any activity or time spent together, and they make future activities appear discouraging. Sometimes the best moments with your partner is when you both can be totally silly, irrelevant, and ridiculous. Which is ok because it's all done in playfulness.
Another way to help increase the fun in your relationship is to be playful. Don't take yourself so seriously. When you take yourself too seriously in your relationship you start to have unrealistic expectations for yourself and your partner (ie. he should know how I feel or she should do what I say without question). Which usually contributes to feelings of inadequacy or superiority. Going down this road is the opposite of fun and can make you feel miserable. Having fun with your partner is just as important as being a fun person to be around. You don't need to be the life of the party, but you shouldn't be the rain in everyone's parade either. Would you really want to spend time doing something fun with someone who complained or worried all the time? If you answered no, then also take a moment to look at how your partner might feel if you were doing those things (complaining, worrying, etc). Would you want to spend time with you?
If it's not easy for you or your partner to be playful or silly with each other, then that's ok. Maybe that's just not in your personality or the kind of relationship you have. But you can still be a fun person by participating, smiling, asking questions, or just cheering your partner on. So, how much fun are you to be around in your relationship?
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