In the Game of Love

         I recently heard of an odd term, negging. No, it's not the latest version of the legging or jegging as I thought. Actually you won't find it in your local Webster's dictionary. You'll have to look for it in the Urban dictionary for the definition. What struck me as surprising about this term, other than the name, was the mixed reactions people may have about the whole concept of it all. So what does it mean? Negging is a term for a pick up method where a negative comment is given as a back handed compliment. It sounds like a sneaky and demeaning way of hitting on someone, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. Essentially, the purpose of this "dating tactic" is to get  a response so the interaction can continue. And that's really the purpose of any relationship isn't it? To continue interesting interaction with your partner. As hard as it to say, there is some benefit to any relationship from this continued dating dance.
          When it comes to dating, engaging in a bit of a chase keeps things intriguing. If a girl is not immediately available, the guy stays interested in getting to know her. If a guy only gives up a little about himself, the girl feels curious about his story. It makes you/your partner work harder for the relationship. 
           Unfortunately some of this dating ritual dies out when a couple is married or in a long term committed relationship. This is a loss for the relationship and probably a contributing factor to having a stagnate marriage/relationship. Although you and your partner may know almost everything about each other and have talked about everything under the sun, there are still ways you can keep chasing each other. 
           Keeping the chase on after you are married or have been together for more than 5 years, is about you. You have to make an conscious effort to feel intriguing and stay intrigued with your partner. Feel confident in who you are and try out new things for yourself. Even if you end up trying new things on your own, feel good about it. The more you allow yourself to enjoy life, the more your partner will see what a privilege it is to be a part of your life. As you continue to keep your partner guessing what you might do next, also drop hints to him/her that you  are still emotionally and sexually interested. This can be and mean anything. It can be as far out as taking a pole dancing class or going river rafting, or it can be as  simple as flirting or surprising him/her with a massage treatment. Continuously engaging your partner in the dating chase does take work, but a good relationships is something worth chasing.