For some who have been married and divorced before, the thought of getting married again might be far from their mind. But this is most likely a temporary phase of mind. When the right person comes around again, marriage is always on the table for discussion. The reality is that it's not a horrible thing to marry a second time or marry someone who has been divorced. Just because the first marriage did not work out does not mean you are doomed to fail a second time around. However, there are some things that you can do differently to improve the success of a second marriage.
Tie up loose ends from previous marriage before moving forward with a new relationship. It is so crucial for you to settle things before moving forward with a new relationship. Nothing else complicates a new relationship more than baggage from an old relationship, especially if it's ongoing. So sign the divorce papers, settle child custody (if applicable), and settle financial ties before starting a new relationship. Yes, this will be difficult to do so stay connected with your support system (family, friends, church) during this time.
Focus on the present relationship. Don’t idolize or bash your ex-spouse to your current partner. Comparing your current partner or relationship to your previous marriage is also a no-no. These behaviors send a message that "you're not over it". Whether you do this overtly or covertly, your partner will be able to detect it one way or another. Although it's not possible to get rid of memories or feelings about your previous marriage that may come up in your new relationship, it's also important that these memories or feelings do not overshadow feelings or building new memories in your current relationship. So put focus on the new experiences you will have with your current partner, even if they were things you have already done with your ex-spouse.
Communicate. This is a broad statement because communication is important all around. In this case, communicating with your current partner about your previous marriage is something you can’t avoid. Of course, it’s essential to talk about things when you both are ready to, but don’t push the conversation away or sweep it under the rug. Talk to your current partner about feeelings (fear, worry, sadness) that you are experiencing as a result of getting a divorce and starting over. Talk to your partner about what you want in this relationship and mistakes you made in your previous marriage. This is one way you both can improve your communication, build trust, and stay on the same page in your relationship.
Love and marriage do not have to end with the first marriage. Although statistics show a higher likelihood of divorce for second marriages, it doesn’t mean that marriage the second time around will not last. It takes more work, but it can be successful.
Tie up loose ends from previous marriage before moving forward with a new relationship. It is so crucial for you to settle things before moving forward with a new relationship. Nothing else complicates a new relationship more than baggage from an old relationship, especially if it's ongoing. So sign the divorce papers, settle child custody (if applicable), and settle financial ties before starting a new relationship. Yes, this will be difficult to do so stay connected with your support system (family, friends, church) during this time.
Focus on the present relationship. Don’t idolize or bash your ex-spouse to your current partner. Comparing your current partner or relationship to your previous marriage is also a no-no. These behaviors send a message that "you're not over it". Whether you do this overtly or covertly, your partner will be able to detect it one way or another. Although it's not possible to get rid of memories or feelings about your previous marriage that may come up in your new relationship, it's also important that these memories or feelings do not overshadow feelings or building new memories in your current relationship. So put focus on the new experiences you will have with your current partner, even if they were things you have already done with your ex-spouse.
Communicate. This is a broad statement because communication is important all around. In this case, communicating with your current partner about your previous marriage is something you can’t avoid. Of course, it’s essential to talk about things when you both are ready to, but don’t push the conversation away or sweep it under the rug. Talk to your current partner about feeelings (fear, worry, sadness) that you are experiencing as a result of getting a divorce and starting over. Talk to your partner about what you want in this relationship and mistakes you made in your previous marriage. This is one way you both can improve your communication, build trust, and stay on the same page in your relationship.
Love and marriage do not have to end with the first marriage. Although statistics show a higher likelihood of divorce for second marriages, it doesn’t mean that marriage the second time around will not last. It takes more work, but it can be successful.
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