FresnoMarriageCounselor.com
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Blog
  • Therapy Services and FAQs

Out with the Old, In with the New Year

12/28/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
          This will be the last blog entry for 2014. How amazingly fast the year has gone by, with some slow parts in between I'm sure. So of course, this last entry will be about making new year resolutions. How cliché, I couldn't agree more. However, from a therapeutic standpoint, I do very much understand the importance of doing this so I couldn't avoid it. To be honest, new year resolutions aren't my thing. I prefer to encourage reflection and growth more regularly than once a year and it doesn't have to be at a particular time of the year. The concept of making changes thought, is what I do encourage. 
          Whether you had a great year with your partner or not, or perhaps things fell apart for you at the end of the year, it's never too late to make one change or two for the new year. The concept of change and a blank slate is what appeals to many of us during this time of year.  The old year is gone with its hardships and a new year is fresh on the horizon. This sense of positivity and hope is essential to start a new year. So why is it so hard for us to stick to new year resolutions? This short answer is that it all depends on the prep work.
           If you're an artist or enjoy handcrafting things, you'll probably understand this example very well. The finished product (a painting, a polished car, a wooden cabinet, etc) will always reflect the small steps that went into it before it was ready to start. Paint sticks on way better when the canvas is blank and likewise, resolutions stick better to us when we free ourselves of thoughts that keep us stuck in old habits. So the following list are small steps to prep ourselves for making resolutions and sticking with them.
          It's always a good thing to look at ourselves, good and bad habits, and take time to understand these aspects of us. This reflective practice is step one in our prep work. It can help us to understand ourselves better, improve our relationship with others, and feel better about ourselves in the long term. When we take time to reflect on who we were or what we accomplished or not in this past year, we have a clear picture of where we want to be. By doing this we are better prepared for making changes.  Furthermore, it's not only our experiences, but also our interpretation of our experiences that make up who we are. Finding a positive way to interpret our experiences in the past year is another step in our prep work. Lastly, when we can integrate the things we have experienced in this year into our identity then we have allowed ourselves to resolve what we did or did not accomplish this past year. Now we can be open to new resolutions.These steps of reflecting, interpreting, and integrating then contribute to making resolutions that we will stick with.
          I would also encourage making resolutions that are positively stated and specific. Negatively stated resolutions suggest a deficit (losing something) whereas positive resolutions suggest gaining something, and this really does make all the difference. Broad resolutions are too easily forgotten or pushed aside because the results do not come fast enough. So make specific resolutions that you can achieve in a short time, and build on these small resolutions to contribute to a larger cause. All in all, be positive with yourself and you will find yourself better suited to resolve things in time.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    February 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from iz4aks, symphony of love, DeveionPhotography, Giuseppe Milo (www.pixael.com), Jargalsaikhan.D | Photographer, ysoseriuos, JSFauxtaugraphy, timsamoff, pedrosimoes7, GreggMP, Sergio Vassio, The Random Hiccup, pedrosek, torbakhopper, jeffdjevdet, Infomastern, Brett Jordan, Julio Greff, kdinuraj, Giulia Muzio, woodleywonderworks, JasonCorey, shoe_scraper_of_death, www.pierrelognoul.be, lauraflorcar, seanmcgrath, p.bjork, EliJerma, FionaKwan, Carlos Gracia, Fluid Forms, John Donges, robertvitulano, Greg Daniel Photography, iakoubtchik, M Möller, tencars_fu, Kerem Tapani, THE Holy Hand Grenade!, m_shipp22, State Farm, pennuja, BuzzFarmers, keirstenmarie, JasonCorey, jellymoderndoughnuts, Beegee49, alandot, UnknownNet Photography, lazha, One Way Stock, esSarah, CJS*64, jmayer1129, Aurimas Adomavicius, symphony of love, JakoJellema (7j.nl), Summer Skyes 11, zenjazzygeek, Transformer18, Jamiecat *, benjaflynn, allistair, B Rosen, yulianemova, Brett Jordan, VinceHuang, Kool Cats Photography over 2 Million Views, Veterinary Pet Insurance (VPI)