Whether you dated for years or a year before getting married, that first year of marriage is typically rough for most couples. It's really due to that mental transition you make from dating to being married. Some people say the first year is magical and others say that it's awful. Either way your relationship will go through some growing pains, because that's exactly what is happening. As a married couple, you are now weaving your lives together and growing as one.
There are some common newly wed problems in the first year of marriage so rest assured that others have survived and you will also survive if you are experiencing them. Of course it's always good to talk about potential issues before you get married so you both know what you are marrying into. However, the reality is that you may still run into these issues. Talking about the issues allows you to know what you're getting into, but marriage is about diving into these issues. Talking may no longer suffice because it's now about finding a solution and taking action.
1) Financial Problems: This is rather general because it can mean many things depending on your financial situation. But no matter what, money issues typically creep up as a hurdle for couples in the first year of marriage. Whether it's about how you spend money or discrepancies between how much you make and what bills you are responsible for, money can take a toll in the first year. In the past, your spending habits probably felt separate from each other, but now that you're married, your partner's spending habits are your business. It may be good or bad, but this information impacts your relationship. Overcoming the financial hurdle is about being able to combine your financial priorities (ie. bills, savings) while respecting your partner's free will to spend their hard earned money.
2) Time Together Problems: While you were dating, your time spent together was usually scheduled. You'd make dinner or vacation plans together, and afterwards retreat to your own routine. This changes drastically when you get married and live together. Your time spent together might be in your living room, your bedroom, or backyard. (Not very romantic right?) And sometimes, this time spent together doesn't feel rewarding or invigorating as it did when you were dating. This can create a lot more silence in your relationship and leave you feeling alone or ignored. Overcoming this problem is about finding a new routine and ritual for your relationship where you both can give your undivided attention.
Decision Making Problems: Deciding where to eat, what movie to see, or when your next vacation may be are small decisions in comparison to some of the decisions you will be making as a married couple. Some of these large scale decisions may not happen in your first year, but you will surely have a taste of it in your first year. The decision making problem couples usually face in their first year is whether to consult with their spouse or not. It would be easy if there were a cookie cutter recipe that lays out these situations, but there isn't. Overcoming this problem is about knowing your spouse, paying attention to their decision making process, apologizing and forgiving each other when mistakes are made.
Don't get me wrong, the first year of marriage is also full of discoveries, new memories, and has its special "firsts". It's not completely doom and gloom, but it is a very important year. Mainly because it sets a foundation for your marriage. Persevering, communicating, and holding onto the reasons you married your spouse will help you get through the tough times in your first year. The more issues you resolve in this year, the stronger your foundation becomes.
There are some common newly wed problems in the first year of marriage so rest assured that others have survived and you will also survive if you are experiencing them. Of course it's always good to talk about potential issues before you get married so you both know what you are marrying into. However, the reality is that you may still run into these issues. Talking about the issues allows you to know what you're getting into, but marriage is about diving into these issues. Talking may no longer suffice because it's now about finding a solution and taking action.
1) Financial Problems: This is rather general because it can mean many things depending on your financial situation. But no matter what, money issues typically creep up as a hurdle for couples in the first year of marriage. Whether it's about how you spend money or discrepancies between how much you make and what bills you are responsible for, money can take a toll in the first year. In the past, your spending habits probably felt separate from each other, but now that you're married, your partner's spending habits are your business. It may be good or bad, but this information impacts your relationship. Overcoming the financial hurdle is about being able to combine your financial priorities (ie. bills, savings) while respecting your partner's free will to spend their hard earned money.
2) Time Together Problems: While you were dating, your time spent together was usually scheduled. You'd make dinner or vacation plans together, and afterwards retreat to your own routine. This changes drastically when you get married and live together. Your time spent together might be in your living room, your bedroom, or backyard. (Not very romantic right?) And sometimes, this time spent together doesn't feel rewarding or invigorating as it did when you were dating. This can create a lot more silence in your relationship and leave you feeling alone or ignored. Overcoming this problem is about finding a new routine and ritual for your relationship where you both can give your undivided attention.
Decision Making Problems: Deciding where to eat, what movie to see, or when your next vacation may be are small decisions in comparison to some of the decisions you will be making as a married couple. Some of these large scale decisions may not happen in your first year, but you will surely have a taste of it in your first year. The decision making problem couples usually face in their first year is whether to consult with their spouse or not. It would be easy if there were a cookie cutter recipe that lays out these situations, but there isn't. Overcoming this problem is about knowing your spouse, paying attention to their decision making process, apologizing and forgiving each other when mistakes are made.
Don't get me wrong, the first year of marriage is also full of discoveries, new memories, and has its special "firsts". It's not completely doom and gloom, but it is a very important year. Mainly because it sets a foundation for your marriage. Persevering, communicating, and holding onto the reasons you married your spouse will help you get through the tough times in your first year. The more issues you resolve in this year, the stronger your foundation becomes.
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