FresnoMarriageCounselor.com
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Blog
  • Therapy Services and FAQs

Waiting with Purpose

7/17/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture
             Some thoughts about the new movement back towards celibacy in relationships. My first thought was that this is an old tradition. And my second thought was that it's about time.  Celibacy is no longer just for priests and nuns. It can benefit anyone who is wanting to build intimacy in their relationship. So let's bust the myth right now. Sex is not intimacy. Sex can be an expression of the love two people feel for each other in the relationship, but it can also be quite meaningless, aka booty call. So throw that out the door.  Well, then you might wonder: how can celibacy build intimacy? Let's explore that together.
             We live in a hypersexual society where sex sells and it's really not a big deal anymore. This concept is bad news for relationships because it can influence people to invest in a relationship for the sexual benefits rather than the emotional benefits of a relationship. Sex also tends to warp your perception of connection in a relationship, making you overlook bad aspects of the relationship in order to keep that person around. Only to find that in the end, without the sex, the relationship was not worth your investment. Celibacy can be one way to keep yourself objective and build the foundation of your relationship based on trust, shared values, common interests, and emotional support. All things leading to intimacy in a relationship. And when you find that you still feel emotionally connected with your partner without sex in the picture, that'll make for a longer lasting relationship. The reality is that a long term relationship will have times where sex is not part of the picture, i.e if there's a lot travel in your work or after the birth of a child. So it's important to have someone around who connects with you in other ways than sex.
               Practicing celibacy in your relationship should start with you. Decide what the purpose is for you, whether if it's to weed out partners who only want sex or if it's to find deeper meaning in your relationship. Then decide how long you will be celibate. And I would recommend at least 30 days or more after you're officially a couple, not just 30 days after the first date. You might not be exclusive after the first date, so make sure the clock starts after you both are exclusive.
               The great thing is that celibacy is not a permanent decision. Your choice to be celibate is to reach your purpose before you will engage in sex, so it's very important to stick with it. Be honest with your partner about why you're waiting and for how long. Truly, if they respect your decision and stick around then there's a higher possibility that the relationship will be built on substance rather than a facade of closeness. 

1 Comment
http://www.mypaperservices.com/blog/ link
8/24/2017 05:50:09 am

The problem of celibacy should not push you to such thoughts. I think that you can influence yourself the outcome, which will wait for you in the future.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    February 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from iz4aks, symphony of love, DeveionPhotography, Giuseppe Milo (www.pixael.com), Jargalsaikhan.D | Photographer, ysoseriuos, JSFauxtaugraphy, timsamoff, pedrosimoes7, GreggMP, Sergio Vassio, The Random Hiccup, pedrosek, torbakhopper, jeffdjevdet, Infomastern, Brett Jordan, Julio Greff, kdinuraj, Giulia Muzio, woodleywonderworks, JasonCorey, shoe_scraper_of_death, www.pierrelognoul.be, lauraflorcar, seanmcgrath, p.bjork, EliJerma, FionaKwan, Carlos Gracia, Fluid Forms, John Donges, robertvitulano, Greg Daniel Photography, iakoubtchik, M Möller, tencars_fu, Kerem Tapani, THE Holy Hand Grenade!, m_shipp22, State Farm, pennuja, BuzzFarmers, keirstenmarie, JasonCorey, jellymoderndoughnuts, Beegee49, alandot, UnknownNet Photography, lazha, One Way Stock, esSarah, CJS*64, jmayer1129, Aurimas Adomavicius, symphony of love, JakoJellema (7j.nl), Summer Skyes 11, zenjazzygeek, Transformer18, Jamiecat *, benjaflynn, allistair, B Rosen, yulianemova, Brett Jordan, VinceHuang, Kool Cats Photography over 2 Million Views, Veterinary Pet Insurance (VPI)