Sometimes you have to get through the bad relationships before you can find and appreciate the good ones. In my practice, I often find that people stay in bad relationships much longer than what their instincts tell them to. Why? The exact reason varies, but usually they are conflicted about whether the reason to leave is good enough. Although not absolute, here are some signs you can use to figure out whether to stay or bail out of your relationship.
Sign 1: Your partner’s personality negatively influences you.
Here it’s important to know what you like and what you like about yourself when you’re with your partner. When you are in a healthy relationship, it will naturally bring out the best in you. Your kindness, generosity, sense of humor, playfulness, or adventurousness should be enhanced when you’re with your partner. It’s a very bad sign of an unhealthy relationship if you are finding that you act or feel more negative when you’re with your partner. Bail out of relationships that do this to you.
Sign 2: There’s a dominance of “me” instead of “we” in the relationship.
An integral part of committing to each other is putting the relationship ahead of personal gains. In a healthy relationship, your partner is on your side even when you’re hurting, mad, or wrong. If you find that you’re working hard to pay the bills, while your partner spends recklessly on personal items. Or if you find yourself feeling emotionally abandoned, then it’s time to consider a bail out.
Sign 3: The bad times outweigh the good times.
Every healthy relationship will have conflict, but often times the conflict makes the relationship stronger by tightening the intimacy, trust, and reliability between the couple. But when conflict makes you grow apart, you’re in deep trouble. The conflict then becomes a source of anger and resentment, rather than a time of growth, and making good memories overshadowed by the bad.
Getting through tough times makes a relationship stronger so don't necessarily bail out at the first sign of trouble. However, when all of these signs are present and have been lingering in your relationship, it's time to consider whether the relationship is worth saving. You may find that saving yourself by bailing out is the best way for both you and your partner to be in a healthy place to find a better suited partner.
Sign 1: Your partner’s personality negatively influences you.
Here it’s important to know what you like and what you like about yourself when you’re with your partner. When you are in a healthy relationship, it will naturally bring out the best in you. Your kindness, generosity, sense of humor, playfulness, or adventurousness should be enhanced when you’re with your partner. It’s a very bad sign of an unhealthy relationship if you are finding that you act or feel more negative when you’re with your partner. Bail out of relationships that do this to you.
Sign 2: There’s a dominance of “me” instead of “we” in the relationship.
An integral part of committing to each other is putting the relationship ahead of personal gains. In a healthy relationship, your partner is on your side even when you’re hurting, mad, or wrong. If you find that you’re working hard to pay the bills, while your partner spends recklessly on personal items. Or if you find yourself feeling emotionally abandoned, then it’s time to consider a bail out.
Sign 3: The bad times outweigh the good times.
Every healthy relationship will have conflict, but often times the conflict makes the relationship stronger by tightening the intimacy, trust, and reliability between the couple. But when conflict makes you grow apart, you’re in deep trouble. The conflict then becomes a source of anger and resentment, rather than a time of growth, and making good memories overshadowed by the bad.
Getting through tough times makes a relationship stronger so don't necessarily bail out at the first sign of trouble. However, when all of these signs are present and have been lingering in your relationship, it's time to consider whether the relationship is worth saving. You may find that saving yourself by bailing out is the best way for both you and your partner to be in a healthy place to find a better suited partner.
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