Why love is not all we need

        There's this really, really, really old song by the Eagles called "love will keep us alive." Although a beautiful line to say to your girlfriend, husband, or partner this cannot be further from the truth. Lines like these set us up to search for that one person whom we love so much, we need nothing else. But of course, if you've read my other posts, you will already know that we humans have many needs. We do need more than love to keep our romantic relationships alive. Unfortunately, relationships based only on love do not often stand the test of time. Have you ever felt like you loved someone, but were not "in love" with them anymore? The truth is many times we become in love with "being in love" so there's a continual search for love. "Love" in this way fades and turns into repetition, which we quickly lose interest in.
         Another harsh reality is that we do not always at all times feel love towards our partner. At times we may feel anger, hate, or rejection towards our partner. And it's much more than love, which takes us past these painful feelings. 
         So what do we need, other than love, to keep our relationships alive then? Let me share my list with you. Can you tell I like making lists? We need friendship, which is something I've mentioned in the past. Friendship is a solid foundation for a strong relationship because it's built on the commonalities we have with our partner. It's built from shared values or beliefs we have. It's a strong foundation to build intimacy, trust, admiration, forgiveness, and shared dreams. These five things along with love and friendship are important ingredients to a lasting relationship. Perhaps you have a few more ingredients than what is listed here, and that's perfectly fine. The important part is to identify those ingredients, share it with your partner, and get on the same page about what keeps your relationship alive.